09-2008

I see people everywhere, where they're not supposed to be
Songs and voices constantly a logical defeat
Been happening for a while now, and the hardest thing to do
Is fight through the illusion to get to what is true

Took apart my computer because it had a bomb
At least that's what the voice in it said through an intercom
It toyed with me and threatened me that I would end up dead
It took me quite some time to realize it was in my head

At first I had no clue as to what was going down
Because the first voice that it chose was my very own
We'd stay up all night talking--it's hard for me to sleep
It makes me laugh, it makes me smile, it makes me want to weep

I have to overcompensate when in the public eye
It gets too complicated, so now I just don't try

Two people pounded on my door early one morning
Looked through the peephole, a boy and girl are taunting me

I opened up the door and found a vacant hallway
As soon as I closed it, oh the things they would say
They brought to life my fears,my insecurities, and shame
I went to check the backdoor just to find it all the same

And when I thought that they had left, I opened up that door
Found both of them across the fence, jeering at me more
With little courage I had left, I took a book outside
There he was across the way, eyes as cold as ice

His slurs and names--obscenities took root in my head
I gave up, went back inside and tried to go to bed
It took a while of jiggling locks for me to realize
The boy and girl and things they said were the real lies

When I'm in the moment, I just can't seem to see
So much of it illogical, I have no clarity
I think the words I'm writing now do belong to me
Please know that I love you all, and I am so sorry